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15.07.15 18:07 | Goblin | 118 комментариев »

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Police responded after a man out of a nature hike happened to walk by Darwin’s house and saw Darwin having sex with the alligator in his backyard. The witness heard Darwin say, “next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done. Now you’re my bitch forever.”

“It was the damn strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” the witness told police. “The gator didn’t even move. It was like it didn’t give a s**t that man was having sex with it.” Collier County Sheriffs responded and arrested Darwin on multiple counts of animal cruelty and one count of illegally keeping a wild animal.

Excerpt from Darwin’s police statement: The gator tried to eat me and this was revenge, pure and simple. I don’t have no sexual attraction to gators, but I wanted to teach this bitch a lesson. I could have just killed her, but that would have been too easy. She was getting what she deserved.

Darwin also told police he had planned to chop off the alligator’s tail and pull her teeth as part of his revenge scheme and had even considered performing noise torture on the reptile by playing what Darwin described as “nigger music” over and over.

Darwin claimed the alligator had gotten a hold of his pant leg when he was fishing in a swamp and tried to drag him into the water. Darwin was able to escape without injury, but that had set his resolve to get revenge.
Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator

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Goblin
отправлено 15.07.15 18:20 # 8


Кому: Tunec, #6

> премия Дарвина присуждается Дарвину

не выйдет - Дарвин жив


Goblin
отправлено 15.07.15 18:40 # 22


Кому: Chaos007, #21

> Фейк, поди.

Oregon Man Busted Playing With Himself While Masturbating A Horse At The Same Time

Well, here's a resume killer.

According to Oregon Live, a 56-year-old Grand Ronde man was arrested last month after he was spotted jerking off a horse and himself at the same time.

Glen Garbutt got caught jerking off himself and a horse

Police said the horse's owner and two other people witnessed Glen Garbutt's interpretation of "multi-tasking" on June 4. However, police were unable to locate Garbutt until June 28 when they received a tip that he was at a local church.

When Garbutt spotted the responding deputy, he ran from the church. Despite repeated warnings that he would be tased if he didn't stop running, Garbutt continued to run and was tased at least three times as a result.

While waiting for other officers to arrive on the scene, the deputy informed Garbutt he was being arrested on suspicion of sexual assault of an animal. At that point, Garbutt yelled that he "didn't have sex with a horse," despite the fact that the officer hadn't yet mentioned that the animal was a horse.

Let's be honest: When you have to affirm that you "didn't have sex with a horse" to anybody, whether it's a police officer or the guy taking a leak next to you in the john, you've made some rather poor life choices.

This guy did​ have sex with a horse...thrice: Man Arrested After Trying To Have Sex With Horse...For A Third Time

http://www.mandatory.com/2015/07/14/oregon-man-busted-playing-with-himself-while-masturbating-a-hors...



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